" says Roseanne Arnold, leading the film's parade of kitschy star cameos, as a gypsy fortuneteller reading young Thurman's palm. Those prodigiously phallic digits will also come in handy in her love life. Early on, there's a cute montage scene of Thurman practicing her arcane art, causing buses, biplanes, even shooting stars to screech to a halt for her. Blessed and cursed with outsized thumbs, she's a born hitchhiker. And misogynistic, too - perhaps the queerest thing about this adaptation of Robbins's freewheeling feminist 1976 novel, which celebrates rebellious cowgirls and their lighthearted lesbianism.Īnatomy is clearly destiny in Sissy Hankshaw's (Uma Thurman) case. Saddled with leaden lead performances, hobbled by an arch, incoherent script and pokey pacing, the new, improved "Cowgirls" is a miscarriage - misconceived, miscast, miserably boring. He should have just started from scratch. Much ballyhooed, much-anticipated, the movie version of Tom Robbins's extravagantly playful road romance "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues" was set for release last November, but got such a ho-hum response from preview audiences that in-over-his-head director Gus Van Sant took it back and diddled with it some more.
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